Tuesday, November 10, 2015


  I  think of all the words we have, use, and live with and by is want. This word is followed closely and often mixed with the word pride. I'm not saying to want is always bad, but when it consumes our lives it can become bad. Nightmares are created real by the word want. Wars have been fought for want. Atrocities are committed every day by want. Murders committed and lies told from that one word that represents an action... want. Souls have been lost over the love of want. Families destroyed over want and hearts broken over want. Most sins committed is from want as well as faith lost from want. Economies thrive from want while poor are created from want. Marriages broken, families divided, and hearts divided over want. Not just a word be perhaps a word that describes a desire or feeling, a state of mind... want. The most dangerous word that can be found, four letter or else, want. It is often mistaken for the word need. Wants are not needs nor are needs wants.

  It is the want for power that some have that causes them to trample others to the ground. The want for control that enslaves another human unto another. The want for possessions that creates a thief and if that want is even bigger, can cause wars. The want for supremacy which feeds the need to be more than their fellow humans by killing, not by raising oneself higher but rather lowering the ones they crave superiority of. This want leads as well to lies and if given enough time and money, lowering the IQ of the future people. The want for fame or fortune, for tangible and intangible things, all are linked to one another for the most part. Hell was created by want, the one here and afterward.

  Be that as it may, want also has power to do good depending on what is added with. Indeed we have power we are granted, all of us, for we have the power to determine and limit want. When want is added with the words I want or you, it can bring about love, ho9nor, peace, and satisfaction. That of course depends on one's other wants. Indeed, to want can be good or bad, depending on our ability to master it.     

Saturday, October 31, 2015

Oversimplified ?

  So I was invited to join a group on Facebook a while back, and I seldom go look there but I get alerts when stuff is posted. I get invitations to End Times and Genesis 6 Boards quite some lot. This one was the Watchmen Board, which told me there were other Watchmen on it and since we don't know all the others I was excited. The lady (yes a lady) who invited me to join the Watchmen has similar beliefs as I do, but that isn't always the case. I still don't know exactly who chooses ones to be one or by what criteria they use. Maybe it was my website, this isn't the site, just the Blog, neither is Facebook or Pintrest. I do a lot on Pintrest these days, but not all the details and information. I find myself at odds with a lot of the Watchmen, guess I'm the black sheep of the lot. I've unjoined more groups than I take part in and use a Pen Name usually rather than my own. One cannot and should not do this for self glory, money, or prejudice.

  So this last attempt I made at a group I joined that looks at End Times type news, a guy, I assume he started that board, wrote an interesting piece concerning Israel. I didn't respond and seriously doubt I will, I have noticed the prejudice he has towards Israel. He and his friend are starting a Radio Show, not sure but I think a TV Show too, from Jerusalem. They say they want to show the real Jerusalem. It seems lately a lot of Watchmen have come out pro Israel. I am not either way, I have never been there, have some friends I have made that live there, but never actually been, nor do I wish to go. The only place I considered was Africa after being invited to come and speak there. I would like to see Africa, but I probably will never get to go there. It was nice though to be asked and invited to go there. Any way, back to the topic... I need to focus.

  In this writing he talks about why there is so much violence in Israel between Muslims and Israelis. According to him it is over the "Holy Sites" and how Muslims wish to claim the sites too. During this "revealing" he claims that the Muslims burnt one of the sites. I should also state that I have some Muslim friends as well and I base a lot of what I think about that religion on them. No religion will desecrate what they consider "Holy Ground", especially the big 3, Christianity, Judaism, and Islamic, which oddly enough share many of the Old Testament people. When I read that I detected an aroma of bullshit. Yes, I spelled that word out since alluding to or abbreviating it is the same as just saying it. My beliefs differ from both of the other two at the New Testament, so I try and not take sides, I just look at facts. The fact is no religion who holds a site sacred will destroy it, unless it is a false flag event. For those who don't know what a false flag term means, Google it.

   Is that the real turmoil in the Middle East? The whole thing, according to him, is that they want the holy sites to claim as theirs. If that is the case then it is akin to 2 spoiled children fighting over who owns the sand in a sandbox. It is land, doesn't "belong" to anybody but both have the same characters in their beliefs. Get over it and share. Therein, I don't believe it is that simple either. Facts show that all 3 beliefs loved in harmony together until the creation, I should say invasion, which happened in the 40s. Violence there seems to be spread by 2 factions. The Powers That Be and ignorance. That can by put as evil people doing evil things backed by stupid people doing stupid things. One can see that by the victims on both sides. I was asked once, who should we back? Neither, we've no dog in that fight and plenty of our own troubles on the table to work on here. There are extremists on all sides of all beliefs, and none at all. We can focus on what we differ on, or focus on what similarities we have.                

Friday, September 25, 2015

Sometimes It Is Better To...

  I read a writing that a friend commented on he read in one of my writings. It must have been old and I have a few places I post at, mainly on my own site. Now this is not a close friend, matter of fact we've never spoken on the phone or met in person. We have different religious perspective, aka eschatology. We read the Bible much, much differently. We are alike however in we come pretty much straight forward with the things we believe in writings and in his case, his sermons. He is a Preacher and I think a Theologian, but definitely a Preacher. I am about as far removed from that as anybody, this is my main format of conveying my beliefs and on my Pintrest I convey some information while holding back. On my site though I rent the server so I do not hold back, but admittedly I don't write and post information like I once did. It is there I will assume he found an older writing. His way and beliefs work for him and he is pretty well set, a sincere guy and I believe well meaning. I will, out of respect, refrain from naming names as I believe he  is sincere.

  Where he decided to focus was on a writing or maybe writings of when I say God says Be still and know that I am God. His interpretation is correct in that God is saying wait and watch and see His power and He will handle things, but it is not complete. His assessment on my writings is that he is a bit confused as to what I wrote and perhaps I did not spell it out as clearly as I meant to. I am a member on his site and I could make straight my beliefs and challenge his words but I think he will eventually find this writing. If he does he does and if not, well thats ok too. You see sometimes it is better to leave some things well enough alone, focus on what is in common, and walk away from a small issue. His issue is with my description rather than the Bible, perhaps spun out of my beliefs on areas we differ on that I feel is important. Reading some of his books I learned some information I didn't know on the Genesis 6 part.

   He writes from a different world than I do and on a different perspective, one of reading without experiencing. There are things that we try and understand at a distance, reading the words and having some understanding, yet no depth in that understanding due to experiences. Lets just say that sometimes we are surface skimmers, skimming atop the waters of a pond without going deeper than we need to be in order to have a complete understanding of what the Author is trying to convey. Perhaps that is why most of the time bad people are chosen and converted and no matter if they were good or bad, they have plenty of challenges. I'm talking about real challenges, not the ones we perceive as a challenge. I'm talking about life or death, you have done all you can humanly do, doctors have done all they know to do, and there is nothing left but God who has the power to change things. Translated, yes God and He alone has that power to right the wrongs, stop the flood, fight the enemies, do the battle for you. Thus the words "Be still and know that I am God", for one is exhausted and losing the battle, so one becomes still, as one can only do that, all else is lost.

  I need to say this though, God's answer is that He may chose not to do battle for you in the physical world. If He choses not to do so it is not always a reflection of the person's status or goodness with God. It may be no because it does not fit His purpose or plans. If it be fatal, be that sickness, disease, or accident, God has not abandoned the person who is still. One of the biggest, most tragic mistakes and assumptions I see is when people judge the afflicted, injured, or defeated person as not worth of God's help. God and only God knows a person's heart and only He can judge justly. Since that measure of judgment you use will one day be used on you, think positive at best, neutral at worst. This benefits only you. I can't help but sometimes wonder if they have attributed the wrong god with God but giving Him a rod and a temper to strike down everybody. If so, that is Zeus. One must remember that God's decision to do or not do is a just one and is to serve His purpose. For the faithful it will be a true life, for the not faithful it will be the end. It is never our purpose to judge a person's faithfulness for we cannot see their heart or know their mind.

   So what is the difference? What is the big deal? Bottom line, all suffering is not pointless, actually it is just the opposite. What if we are just given events and we determine if they are good or bad? The dangers of this can be a few ways. The first way is that the person in trouble may just chose to quit, stop fighting, thinking God will do their battles and they do not have to do anything. The second way is they can easily be convinced that God not doing the battle for them that they are not truly saved or worthy of His assistance. Sometimes they are told their faith just isn't strong enough. I have seen this one played out in real life. I had an Aunt who fought cancer three times and the last time took her out. She started going to church and they had her crawl to the front, upon the stage, beg and cry. As the disease advanced she was told her faith just wasn't enough. She died thinking it was her fault for a weak faith. This was a good woman. When all is lost, one has little options than being still. A person who has never been to that point need not to judge or attempt to judge that which they do not know. To do so is in serious err and God holds those who claim the Teacher degree more harshly. They teach what they do not know. God listens and hears.                     

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Welcome To The New

   For those of us who have had a bad health event, and those who are getting older, welcome to the new. I spent most of my life as a workaholic. People have many hobbies, mine was working, except I didn't see it as working most of the time. Reflecting back I am sometimes amazed at what all got done around here. There was and is however a cost that goes along with it, family time. The way I saw it was we all benefited from my laborious lifestyle. It was much easier to give or make or repair things than to give of myself, and I see that now. In the old days when we were mostly a farming country that wouldn't be bad, they took their kids with them. I done that too except I was never patient, UPS had taught me to count not the minutes, but the seconds. "Trim the seconds and the minutes will take care of themselves." This to me made sense. I came from a family of workaholics so naturally it would make sense. The biggest difference was they allowed time for me to learn. Over the years I learned Carpentry, Electrician work, Masonry, Electronics, Plumbing, Gardening, Farming, some Auto mechanics, Incubation, and a little Auto Body. Honestly I would still have that pace if possible, it was all I knew.

  Then at 44 I had the heart attack. I recovered well from it but I don't think things ever go back as they were, physically, mentally, spiritually. Then, 7 months later they found I had a Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma. I was however close. I did not welcome the new me but fought against it. Though I never won I didn't quit so I wasn't defeated. Enter a surgery on a shoulder injury that did not go as well as we'd hoped. I lost 37% use of the arm and it was permanent. The new me was recovering but would forever change just a tad more. In the past I had been bitten by a Brown Recluse Spider and recovered well. Had a Deer Tick bite me and it brought about Lymes Disease and over a year of meds. Though my body had permanent damage one would never know it. Pernicious Anemia, again a change but again I beat it back by working with what was left. I figured I had weather the storm before and worked around what was damaged, except this time, I was effected spiritually and emotionally. There was no working around that. I, for the first time, saw me from another's eyes, and I didn't like what I saw... and still don't. We weren't done just yet though.

  In 2009 I developed, or at least it was found, Stage 3 cancer in my throat and not the slow kind or the good kind, if there is such a thing. Not by my own doing but with God's help and the ones He placed around me, I survived that too. This one however took it;s toll on me, one you can't work around no matter how hard you try. As the side effects mounted from the treatments the frustration amounted as well. I lost my strength and stamina and no matter how hard I tried, I could not rise about the damage. I had however wrote down on a blog my journey and though my grammar lacks according to the standard, I have improved. As my body failed me and I could not climb back up, I began reading. Welcome again to the new, like it or not. For the next few years I was frustrated, still am, just not as bad. Today is one of those days, so I write since I can do little else. Now at 55, I wear down even easier. I watch and listen to some talk about being  my age and full of life then I see them and they do nothing like I miss doing. There are exceptions, but the key word is exception.

   So enter in the age factor and we have a steady decline. When I was 30, even 40, I knew my life was at the most half way. That changes after 50 as one gets the signals of old age. Even if I had good health I would know that 55 is past the half way mark and one contemplates their own lifespan. At one point in my life I could do my things plus requests. Now I do well for one and not both. Perhaps it is God's way of using nature to tell us we have to give of what we have the most of... ourselves. Somehow that doesn't seem enough, yet it is. We have believed and lived a lie. We look back at past events that have occurred and suddenly realize that it was just a bump, a glitch in the system. Fires seem like   sparks for the most part.

  As I get older my waist thickens and my muscles decline. My hair no longer is thick as it thins nor my beard the texture it once was. I hurt in places I didn't even know I have as the glory and ignorance of youth becomes the regrets of old age. My eyesight dims at distant objects and fuzzes close ones too. I am old, not dead but old and I am made aware when I go for that second breath after hitting a wall, only to see it is not there. The mind is most willing but the body is not. I see a beautiful lady and think that is a pretty girl and do not desire her. When I look in the mirror I no longer think I look ok, then look at my wife and wonder what she sees in me. I no longer desire fleeting things, drama or excitement... I just want peace and calm. There are few conquests apart to just be. My experiences, though they were not all good have developed me to who and what I am and am not. I see my advice to the young is not wanted, as I try and spare them what I have lived. I fault them not for once they were me. I envy them not, for once I was where they are. To where I once saw myself accomplished and successful I see it was in ways and areas that over time mean not. I see my failures that were once invisible to my eyes and heart. Welcome, I hear in the whisper of the air. Welcome to the new.            

Sunday, May 24, 2015

Have a Beer?

   Sometimes I think maybe no TV and certainly not for my kids. It seems we stoop lower and worse each month in what is on TV. From women's famine products to a man's inability to have sex to drinking. We wonder what is wrong with society, well maybe we have just slipped at the wheel. We merely kid ourselves thinking placing a fish or cross on our car makes up for our failure to stand and say no. We do not shield our eyes let alone our children's eyes from liars and perverts who seem to have almost taken all forms of media over. Probably one of the wisest things said was by the Dali lama in teaching people and if necessary use words. My thoughts are simple, what you do shouts while words simply whisper. Lead by example.

   TV is a complete lie, sometimes a good lie, sometimes a bad lie, but always a lie. Thing is, we seem to imitate what we see and those young eyes watching us are small mirrors absorbing it all in. I use to work at a big corporation and a pig roast that a fellow worker had yearly I refused to attend because it was a byob event. I knew full well that meant bring your own bottle and that was exactly what would be done. It was a family party with "adult drinks" permitted. I'm an adult and I don't drink and I don't take my kids around drinking so the signal is not confused. Adults drink a lot of things and alcohol at one time was not on that list. Now I never protested or judged any of them for having that party, even laughed at some of the stupid things some done when stories were told. But I was labeled and chastised for not partaking. Its this pressure that some succumb to, and years ago I did too. Luckily I ran with a cousin that though he looked the part like I did with a beard and long hair, had the balls to stand tall and say no. That inspired me eventually to stand and say no too.

  Pier pressure comes not only from those you work or go to school with but from TV and magazine ads. Now the thing I can't figure is we all want to be individuals, to stand apart from the crowd, to be respected for our strength, yet we fall in line wanting to fit in. Kids get tattoos, piercings, scarification, just to stand apart. They probably would except it seems like this is the pattern, the norm, the fit in. So do they stand out? No. People party using drugs and alcohol, wear a designer whatever or trashy looking clothing, simply to fit in, all the while screaming for individuality. True individuality and strength comes not from words nor falling in line. True strength can only be expressed by actions and noticed by observation unaware. True strength is standing a ground that others have left aside.

  But I'll come down hard on drinking. I know that a drink every now and then isn't the worse thing morally one can do, but it is the weakest thing one can do. On TV they show these good looking well built people all drinking. They are having fun, a happy event, chocked full of energy. Is that real? NO, and I can attest from experience. In reality these people will have or already has a beer belly, light of not. For the most part maybe things go well most of the time, but not for everybody. Beer is a depressant so when some people get depressed they fight, while others cry. People also get horny and as Shakespeare once wrote, it gives me the inhibition yet takes away the ability. That also causes hostility as tempers boil. Women are raped from either too much to drink or being laced with something to knock them out. People wreck, killing other innocent people, crippling people, even themselves. Friends become enemies and if it continues for long enough addictions happen which leads to broken relationships and wallets. Nobody plans on being a drunk.

  I read something the other day, think they even made a short film on it, how beer saved a city because the water was contaminated. According to them most cities had beer to thank. So no water to drink, exactly where do they think the water came from to brew the beer? Water boiled for even a minute is drinkable and if one adds something to flavor it, how bad is that water? Beer brought in corruption, violence, and disease. Yes disease. Beer is acidic and diseases flourish in an acidic atmosphere. That is why cancer patients are acidic.

  Even the president sat in the White House with 2 men who had issues with each other and "had a beer". It is all around us. Most corporations want their upper crust to party or at least have a few with them. By the time you realize you have lost control, it is usually too late. I had an uncle, great man, but ended up with that monkey on his back until he died. His son, a great person, murdered at a party where they were all drunk. We worry about pot but pot isn't the enemy at the gate, beer is the enemy inside the gate. I would rather my kids do neither but if they did I'd rather it be pot that beer, at least it has constructive properties.

  Most people do not know that one can become possessed when the mind is compromised. Drugs and alcohol do just that. Now some don't believe in demons or devils but they certainly believe in you. Anger, sadness, fear, all these compromise them mind as well, and they all come with an altered person, especially beer. If you are Christian then read the part about a sober mind or state, quite important. If not then perhaps consider who's fool you are when you are drunk. Tomorrow rises and the problems are still here only now they've amassed more problems to add to it. Those that rule know that as long as you are compromised, you are easily led and controlled.                      

Sunday, May 17, 2015


   This year I'll turn 55, if God so wills me to be here in a couple of months. I sat outside, under the Gazebo that is covered in Grape Vines, and looked around at what remained and what had not. More than that though was who was and was not. Some of my kids have kids now, and some not yet but will one day perhaps have a few. How did I become the old man that the kids thought was out of date and ignorant to the ways of the world? Why I was young I was radical and considered "cool", I remember a teacher calling me a Muckraker. I considered that a compliment when she told me the definition. So what happened, is that something that with time wears away?  I wasn't a bad looking guy either, built fairly well and strong as an Ox. Probably not much smarter than one either.

  From my vantage point I could see the little block Milk Parlor we had built after bad guys burnt down the massive Milk Barn. I also remember their first attempt and for one, he would never get to attempt it again. I could almost hear us working on it, not so much the outside of it, they hired that done, but the inside and the steps. I took pride in making sure each block was laid with care, ever so confident that it could withstand anything, and so it did. When the big Milk Barn was destroyed, all that remained was the block inside I had laid. I could almost see me, Gerald, and Mark at the Milk Barn. To the right of that a hill stands tall where once there were three old cars, not worth much back then but they would be worth a lot these days. Me and Joe decided one day we were bored so we played with the old cars, none of them run. We ended up breaking out all the windows with rocks, which actually was fun for a while. Right up until we got caught, then came Hickory Switch time. The red whelks they left behind on the legs lasted a few days, slightly tender to the touch, reminding us not to do that again.

  To the left was two other barns, one big and one a good size but smaller and with a hay loft. I remember being too small to lift a bale of hay so I drug it over to the hole and attempted to release it. The key word was attempted. My fingers stuck in the strings, it was a good tight bale, and down both it and I went. That earned me another trip to the doctor, Doctor Allen, who laughed as he sewed my forehead up and told me not to hold on the next time. I think that was stitches number two in that spot, the first was a wooden step years before. The big barn was a Tobacco Barn, and I don't remember how many runs we could put, but it was a lot. I remembered the cold, damp, air, a small Pot Bellied Stove sometimes giving a little heat, as Annie, Papa, Gerald, and Edna graded and hand tied each bundle. Me, Joe, and Mark were too young to tie, Annie had standards of what she liked. We would bring the graded Tobacco over to each area and place it for them to select and tie. A few bales of hay with Tobacco Sticks stuck in the hay, making dividers for us to place each grade. As memory serves me there were seven grades, but I could be wrong. Those barns has since fallen and not even remnants remain now.

   Looking in the field just a ways down I remembered me and Joe "hunting", which meant we shot anything that moved. The shotguns were bigger than we were, but we usually hit what we shot at. One day we spooked a covey of Quail. They sounded like a dozen Helicopters taking off, scared us to death and we both shot out of being alarmed. We missed but almost hit a milk cow. Can we say Hickory Switch time again, since we scared the old cow and she didn't give milk for a few days. Me and Joe were connoisseurs of the Hickory Switch. It didn't kill us, make us scared, or have a lasting effect, but it did teach us there are consequences for our actions, ones you really don't want. We were never whipped while they were angry, nor abusive. I have to say, we earned each and every one, and then some.

  The stories kept on coming, I've been here all my life. Now there remains only me and Mark of the ones I've mentioned. For a moment I felt a load of sadness, a lost feeling, depression. I remembered the last time I saw Papa. He and Annie were sitting on the porch reading the newspaper. They had a program that year where the poor kids could work for the city and me and BB, another cousin, had gotten a job that year. I could see the house where they lived, and me as well when mom and dad worked. Seven people plus farm hands in a four room house that was probably about 700 square feet. Papa had a heart attack that day and when I returned from work, he was gone. Two days after my 15th birthday in 1975. Joe was murdered in 1983 and that same year Annie died from her cancer. Later on Gerald died from pneumonia, and few years later Edna's cancer returned and she died. Beside Annie and Papa's house is mom and dad's house. They were actually my biological grandparents. Dad died about five years ago of multiple complications and mom died of cancer about a year ago. Between our houses is a barn. I have no idea who built the old small part but I remember helping Gerald, dad, and some guys build the bigger part in 1971. I remember me and Keith (Jim), BB's brother who lived with us for a while. BB and Keith are still alive but we all have other things going I guess. Down here though only me and Mark of the original crew. To just write about it in short form is easy, to remember spoon feeding Edna or Annie, watching them relearn walking and talking, or go from blind to sight. Dad wanting to come home, which never happened. Mom wanting to die at home like Edna and Annie, and Papa did... we made that happen. I promised her I would get her walking again. I failed at that, mom would never again set up let alone walk.

  Then I thought a strange thought. A sense of a life well filled and satisfied and joy came about me. A tear in my eye slowly left and a smile replaced it. I have these wonderful memories, and a lot more. I chased a dream, a false dream, of having a lot materially. Now, middle aged, thin hair and thick belly, my health is gone. I have never been rich or wealthy, but I was comfortable. UPS paid us well. I had bought toys upon toys, but sitting there, they mean nothing. To sit there and look out, even though the land has changed some, and have those memories... that is what life is about. We look for miracles and yet we fail to see the miracles that happen every single day. No walking through flames or moving mountains, but living with people you love and who love you. Did me and dad need to build all this stuff, did Gerald? It wasn't the having that is of immense value but the experience and sharing of time and teaching talents. God could have given those moments to anybody, yet He allowed me to have them. When one day we leave this place, that is what we get to take with us, the love, joy, and all the good things that can never be bought or sold, held or touched. I had to become an old man to see this.

  So take some advice not from me but from those of old. Never let the sun go down on you mad. Make peace rather that look for it. Anybody can take, so learn to give. Lead and teach and if necessary, use words. Be what you want to see. Be thankful for the smaller things, for a mountain is made from many small mounds, a beach from many grains of sand. Never see a person go hungry. Don't depend on treasures here, make treasures for after here. Strong hands do not point to the fallen, they reach out to help the fallen get back up.             

Monday, April 27, 2015

Strange Days, Strange World

  We live in a funny world, each of us in our own little space, occasionally colliding with each other.  We have a little bubble in this world that we are aware of. never seeing the bigger picture usually, and for some a bit late. I watched today as a family member got rid of stuff he once clanged onto and held so dear realizing that all this time possessions are just temporary. If there is one thing I learned the hard way it is that. That being said I still like the things I have, I just know they are things, and things are temporary at best. In this case it was an old truck and me being an old car guy I could relate. Lately my wife has tried to get me to sell some of mine stating that I would never finish them all and probably never be able to even finish one. Thing is, she is probably right. Still, they are an aspiration, a goal, an enjoyment, and for her an investment for when I leave this world. They are things though and they brought me joy while I was here and maybe they, or the money they bring, can bring joy to her... I don't expect her to keep them. I guess that is what disturbed me the most, it was in a way him saying he gives up.

  There are those living out there who would say he is wrong to quit, and I would agree, but there are times it is easier to quit then continue. We all can reach a point to where it is hard to live, where it all seems hopeless and we feel helpless. Those who have never had to fight to see the next day, and I'm not talking about broken bones or feel rough, I am talking an actual fight to remain just one more day, except even that perspective doesn't work. On fights for on more second, one more minute, one more hour, for one more day seems to hard to attain. I thought when I had a heart attack I knew that, but that was just a sample for you know deep down something has to give. When one is faced with a long term illness, disease, or disability, and days that seem to never end turn into weeks and weeks into months, that is what I am talking about. Cancer showed me this and if the first cancer didn't, the second one did.

   I do believe we are to fight, with all our might we have, and leave it up to God to say it's time. Having said that I completely understand when someone just gives in. It isn't my place to judge them, that is left up to God and Him alone, my job is to encourage and try and understand. Really that is what this life is all about, or at least it should be. In the end it doesn't matter what we owned, won, attained, or anything physical, it all fades away. Other religions, and Christianity use to too, ask a simple question. Was the world better for having you in it? If you can see it, touch it, buy it, sell it, hold it, it all succumbs to moths eating away at it, or rusts away. All physical things fade away and in time so do people, and that is OK, it is suppose to be that way. How is it that we are suppose to be so smart and yet not know that a good life has nothing to do with quantity and everything to do with quality.

  I read somewhere that the Elite either have or are very close to practically have something that increases the life span, and eventually becoming immortal. Who wants that? Have they wasted so much of their life, so much of what life should and could be, that they fear death? The thing I find amazing is the same lie that was told and believed in the Garden Of Eden about immortality is still sold and bought today. You can fix a lot of things but stupid ain't one of them. I look back at the people I loved, ones who made my life worth living and have now gone on and I think, why would I want to live forever. That is not to say I don't enjoy the ones who are here now and make life worth living, but one gets stuck somewhere in the middle. Then too things change, the world changes, and suddenly I do not understand it nor fit in anymore. This is indeed strange days.

  I can't help but wonder, was my bubble real back when I was young, or was I just raised with limited view. Back then food was real, no GMOs until the corn with the Firefly genes. We use to have food that heals, now we have food that kills. Most school lunches weren't like momma makes, but they were good and seldom did we have a choice. There was a forgive and go from there policy rather than a zero tolerance policy. In other words, we done as we want God to do when we screw up. The rules and laws were few and simple and lawmen could grant leniency if they chose to do so. Laws are like locks, they keep an honest man honest but do little to keep out a thief. There were no emphasis placed on a product mane but if the product actually lasted. Most people never felt superior to another based on their job, and supervisors actually were good at what they did and were promoted for their ability. We commended and protected Whistle Blowers, now they have to hide or seek refuge in foreign countries, yet we say we want an open door policy. When did wearing a uniform? We have people judging others for stuff they don't do while they do stuff the one judged would not consider. People spell out bad words rather than say them, it is the same thing. We desire war over peace. Pride over humility. Greed over kindness. Money has become our god, and possessions have become his demons. We are offended rather than hearing truth. We consume products made from aborted babies yet protest abortion. We drive past those less fortunate as we head home to our McMansion. We elect people that are lazy, self centered, and evil, then complain about them. We watch sports players and actors and actresses who are morally bankrupt, yet tell our kids not to be that way. We listen to songs of depression, no real meaning, and hate music. Music no longer soothes the savage beast, it creates them.  We listen to false preachers preaching things we want to hear, or at least things that do not step on our toes. Most of us never stop to think, the last time mankind was this out of control, the Earth was flooded and all was dead.  My generation said we were going to change things, and we did, just not for the better. May God forgive us.   

  I never really understood my elders as a child, I thought I was more advanced, smarter than, and stronger than. Now in my mid fifties I see what they saw, only worse. It is only now that I realize that I was in the company of great men and women, I have been blessed. I have saw men and women die, and they did so at peace, and I wondered why. Most will never know them or anything they done. They live an unremarkable life remarkably well. These are the real heroes. They drove old cars, lived in small houses, dressed as they pleased yet in a moral, respectful attire. I watched and thought and thought some more, then it hit me. These people lived for God, not the religious nut nor condemning Hippocrates, but God fearing Jesus following people. They lived for their family. They simply was happy to serve rather than being served. These people lived their lives knowing it isn't the person who points the finger but the person who lends a hand up to someone when they fall that makes life worth living. And live they did, never once living for themselves but for others. They knew you take with you and leave behind all at the same time only the things which cannot be seen, touched, bought, or sold. They knew the world was a big place with plenty of room for all, and with just enough for all.

  So in closing, where did we go wrong? At what time did we allow evil in? How have we fallen so far? It is indeed strange days in a strange world, but it doesn't have to be like this. One person cannot change the world but by each one the world can change. We all have the opportunity to make this world better, just as we have the opportunity to destroy it all. Some will call it "paying it forward", while others will call it being fulfilled. Call it what you may, but you will change inside, a good change. It is amazing the inner peace, love, and kindness that comes when you live for yourself last, placing all others at the top of your list. Anthony