Welcome To The New

   For those of us who have had a bad health event, and those who are getting older, welcome to the new. I spent most of my life as a workaholic. People have many hobbies, mine was working, except I didn't see it as working most of the time. Reflecting back I am sometimes amazed at what all got done around here. There was and is however a cost that goes along with it, family time. The way I saw it was we all benefited from my laborious lifestyle. It was much easier to give or make or repair things than to give of myself, and I see that now. In the old days when we were mostly a farming country that wouldn't be bad, they took their kids with them. I done that too except I was never patient, UPS had taught me to count not the minutes, but the seconds. "Trim the seconds and the minutes will take care of themselves." This to me made sense. I came from a family of workaholics so naturally it would make sense. The biggest difference was they allowed time for me to learn. Over the years I learned Carpentry, Electrician work, Masonry, Electronics, Plumbing, Gardening, Farming, some Auto mechanics, Incubation, and a little Auto Body. Honestly I would still have that pace if possible, it was all I knew.

  Then at 44 I had the heart attack. I recovered well from it but I don't think things ever go back as they were, physically, mentally, spiritually. Then, 7 months later they found I had a Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma. I was however close. I did not welcome the new me but fought against it. Though I never won I didn't quit so I wasn't defeated. Enter a surgery on a shoulder injury that did not go as well as we'd hoped. I lost 37% use of the arm and it was permanent. The new me was recovering but would forever change just a tad more. In the past I had been bitten by a Brown Recluse Spider and recovered well. Had a Deer Tick bite me and it brought about Lymes Disease and over a year of meds. Though my body had permanent damage one would never know it. Pernicious Anemia, again a change but again I beat it back by working with what was left. I figured I had weather the storm before and worked around what was damaged, except this time, I was effected spiritually and emotionally. There was no working around that. I, for the first time, saw me from another's eyes, and I didn't like what I saw... and still don't. We weren't done just yet though.

  In 2009 I developed, or at least it was found, Stage 3 cancer in my throat and not the slow kind or the good kind, if there is such a thing. Not by my own doing but with God's help and the ones He placed around me, I survived that too. This one however took it;s toll on me, one you can't work around no matter how hard you try. As the side effects mounted from the treatments the frustration amounted as well. I lost my strength and stamina and no matter how hard I tried, I could not rise about the damage. I had however wrote down on a blog my journey and though my grammar lacks according to the standard, I have improved. As my body failed me and I could not climb back up, I began reading. Welcome again to the new, like it or not. For the next few years I was frustrated, still am, just not as bad. Today is one of those days, so I write since I can do little else. Now at 55, I wear down even easier. I watch and listen to some talk about being  my age and full of life then I see them and they do nothing like I miss doing. There are exceptions, but the key word is exception.

   So enter in the age factor and we have a steady decline. When I was 30, even 40, I knew my life was at the most half way. That changes after 50 as one gets the signals of old age. Even if I had good health I would know that 55 is past the half way mark and one contemplates their own lifespan. At one point in my life I could do my things plus requests. Now I do well for one and not both. Perhaps it is God's way of using nature to tell us we have to give of what we have the most of... ourselves. Somehow that doesn't seem enough, yet it is. We have believed and lived a lie. We look back at past events that have occurred and suddenly realize that it was just a bump, a glitch in the system. Fires seem like   sparks for the most part.

  As I get older my waist thickens and my muscles decline. My hair no longer is thick as it thins nor my beard the texture it once was. I hurt in places I didn't even know I have as the glory and ignorance of youth becomes the regrets of old age. My eyesight dims at distant objects and fuzzes close ones too. I am old, not dead but old and I am made aware when I go for that second breath after hitting a wall, only to see it is not there. The mind is most willing but the body is not. I see a beautiful lady and think that is a pretty girl and do not desire her. When I look in the mirror I no longer think I look ok, then look at my wife and wonder what she sees in me. I no longer desire fleeting things, drama or excitement... I just want peace and calm. There are few conquests apart to just be. My experiences, though they were not all good have developed me to who and what I am and am not. I see my advice to the young is not wanted, as I try and spare them what I have lived. I fault them not for once they were me. I envy them not, for once I was where they are. To where I once saw myself accomplished and successful I see it was in ways and areas that over time mean not. I see my failures that were once invisible to my eyes and heart. Welcome, I hear in the whisper of the air. Welcome to the new.            

Have a Beer?

   Sometimes I think maybe no TV and certainly not for my kids. It seems we stoop lower and worse each month in what is on TV. From women's famine products to a man's inability to have sex to drinking. We wonder what is wrong with society, well maybe we have just slipped at the wheel. We merely kid ourselves thinking placing a fish or cross on our car makes up for our failure to stand and say no. We do not shield our eyes let alone our children's eyes from liars and perverts who seem to have almost taken all forms of media over. Probably one of the wisest things said was by the Dali lama in teaching people and if necessary use words. My thoughts are simple, what you do shouts while words simply whisper. Lead by example.

   TV is a complete lie, sometimes a good lie, sometimes a bad lie, but always a lie. Thing is, we seem to imitate what we see and those young eyes watching us are small mirrors absorbing it all in. I use to work at a big corporation and a pig roast that a fellow worker had yearly I refused to attend because it was a byob event. I knew full well that meant bring your own bottle and that was exactly what would be done. It was a family party with "adult drinks" permitted. I'm an adult and I don't drink and I don't take my kids around drinking so the signal is not confused. Adults drink a lot of things and alcohol at one time was not on that list. Now I never protested or judged any of them for having that party, even laughed at some of the stupid things some done when stories were told. But I was labeled and chastised for not partaking. Its this pressure that some succumb to, and years ago I did too. Luckily I ran with a cousin that though he looked the part like I did with a beard and long hair, had the balls to stand tall and say no. That inspired me eventually to stand and say no too.

  Pier pressure comes not only from those you work or go to school with but from TV and magazine ads. Now the thing I can't figure is we all want to be individuals, to stand apart from the crowd, to be respected for our strength, yet we fall in line wanting to fit in. Kids get tattoos, piercings, scarification, just to stand apart. They probably would except it seems like this is the pattern, the norm, the fit in. So do they stand out? No. People party using drugs and alcohol, wear a designer whatever or trashy looking clothing, simply to fit in, all the while screaming for individuality. True individuality and strength comes not from words nor falling in line. True strength can only be expressed by actions and noticed by observation unaware. True strength is standing a ground that others have left aside.

  But I'll come down hard on drinking. I know that a drink every now and then isn't the worse thing morally one can do, but it is the weakest thing one can do. On TV they show these good looking well built people all drinking. They are having fun, a happy event, chocked full of energy. Is that real? NO, and I can attest from experience. In reality these people will have or already has a beer belly, light of not. For the most part maybe things go well most of the time, but not for everybody. Beer is a depressant so when some people get depressed they fight, while others cry. People also get horny and as Shakespeare once wrote, it gives me the inhibition yet takes away the ability. That also causes hostility as tempers boil. Women are raped from either too much to drink or being laced with something to knock them out. People wreck, killing other innocent people, crippling people, even themselves. Friends become enemies and if it continues for long enough addictions happen which leads to broken relationships and wallets. Nobody plans on being a drunk.

  I read something the other day, think they even made a short film on it, how beer saved a city because the water was contaminated. According to them most cities had beer to thank. So no water to drink, exactly where do they think the water came from to brew the beer? Water boiled for even a minute is drinkable and if one adds something to flavor it, how bad is that water? Beer brought in corruption, violence, and disease. Yes disease. Beer is acidic and diseases flourish in an acidic atmosphere. That is why cancer patients are acidic.

  Even the president sat in the White House with 2 men who had issues with each other and "had a beer". It is all around us. Most corporations want their upper crust to party or at least have a few with them. By the time you realize you have lost control, it is usually too late. I had an uncle, great man, but ended up with that monkey on his back until he died. His son, a great person, murdered at a party where they were all drunk. We worry about pot but pot isn't the enemy at the gate, beer is the enemy inside the gate. I would rather my kids do neither but if they did I'd rather it be pot that beer, at least it has constructive properties.

  Most people do not know that one can become possessed when the mind is compromised. Drugs and alcohol do just that. Now some don't believe in demons or devils but they certainly believe in you. Anger, sadness, fear, all these compromise them mind as well, and they all come with an altered person, especially beer. If you are Christian then read the part about a sober mind or state, quite important. If not then perhaps consider who's fool you are when you are drunk. Tomorrow rises and the problems are still here only now they've amassed more problems to add to it. Those that rule know that as long as you are compromised, you are easily led and controlled.                      

Reflections

   This year I'll turn 55, if God so wills me to be here in a couple of months. I sat outside, under the Gazebo that is covered in Grape Vines, and looked around at what remained and what had not. More than that though was who was and was not. Some of my kids have kids now, and some not yet but will one day perhaps have a few. How did I become the old man that the kids thought was out of date and ignorant to the ways of the world? Why I was young I was radical and considered "cool", I remember a teacher calling me a Muckraker. I considered that a compliment when she told me the definition. So what happened, is that something that with time wears away?  I wasn't a bad looking guy either, built fairly well and strong as an Ox. Probably not much smarter than one either.

  From my vantage point I could see the little block Milk Parlor we had built after bad guys burnt down the massive Milk Barn. I also remember their first attempt and for one, he would never get to attempt it again. I could almost hear us working on it, not so much the outside of it, they hired that done, but the inside and the steps. I took pride in making sure each block was laid with care, ever so confident that it could withstand anything, and so it did. When the big Milk Barn was destroyed, all that remained was the block inside I had laid. I could almost see me, Gerald, and Mark at the Milk Barn. To the right of that a hill stands tall where once there were three old cars, not worth much back then but they would be worth a lot these days. Me and Joe decided one day we were bored so we played with the old cars, none of them run. We ended up breaking out all the windows with rocks, which actually was fun for a while. Right up until we got caught, then came Hickory Switch time. The red whelks they left behind on the legs lasted a few days, slightly tender to the touch, reminding us not to do that again.

  To the left was two other barns, one big and one a good size but smaller and with a hay loft. I remember being too small to lift a bale of hay so I drug it over to the hole and attempted to release it. The key word was attempted. My fingers stuck in the strings, it was a good tight bale, and down both it and I went. That earned me another trip to the doctor, Doctor Allen, who laughed as he sewed my forehead up and told me not to hold on the next time. I think that was stitches number two in that spot, the first was a wooden step years before. The big barn was a Tobacco Barn, and I don't remember how many runs we could put, but it was a lot. I remembered the cold, damp, air, a small Pot Bellied Stove sometimes giving a little heat, as Annie, Papa, Gerald, and Edna graded and hand tied each bundle. Me, Joe, and Mark were too young to tie, Annie had standards of what she liked. We would bring the graded Tobacco over to each area and place it for them to select and tie. A few bales of hay with Tobacco Sticks stuck in the hay, making dividers for us to place each grade. As memory serves me there were seven grades, but I could be wrong. Those barns has since fallen and not even remnants remain now.

   Looking in the field just a ways down I remembered me and Joe "hunting", which meant we shot anything that moved. The shotguns were bigger than we were, but we usually hit what we shot at. One day we spooked a covey of Quail. They sounded like a dozen Helicopters taking off, scared us to death and we both shot out of being alarmed. We missed but almost hit a milk cow. Can we say Hickory Switch time again, since we scared the old cow and she didn't give milk for a few days. Me and Joe were connoisseurs of the Hickory Switch. It didn't kill us, make us scared, or have a lasting effect, but it did teach us there are consequences for our actions, ones you really don't want. We were never whipped while they were angry, nor abusive. I have to say, we earned each and every one, and then some.

  The stories kept on coming, I've been here all my life. Now there remains only me and Mark of the ones I've mentioned. For a moment I felt a load of sadness, a lost feeling, depression. I remembered the last time I saw Papa. He and Annie were sitting on the porch reading the newspaper. They had a program that year where the poor kids could work for the city and me and BB, another cousin, had gotten a job that year. I could see the house where they lived, and me as well when mom and dad worked. Seven people plus farm hands in a four room house that was probably about 700 square feet. Papa had a heart attack that day and when I returned from work, he was gone. Two days after my 15th birthday in 1975. Joe was murdered in 1983 and that same year Annie died from her cancer. Later on Gerald died from pneumonia, and few years later Edna's cancer returned and she died. Beside Annie and Papa's house is mom and dad's house. They were actually my biological grandparents. Dad died about five years ago of multiple complications and mom died of cancer about a year ago. Between our houses is a barn. I have no idea who built the old small part but I remember helping Gerald, dad, and some guys build the bigger part in 1971. I remember me and Keith (Jim), BB's brother who lived with us for a while. BB and Keith are still alive but we all have other things going I guess. Down here though only me and Mark of the original crew. To just write about it in short form is easy, to remember spoon feeding Edna or Annie, watching them relearn walking and talking, or go from blind to sight. Dad wanting to come home, which never happened. Mom wanting to die at home like Edna and Annie, and Papa did... we made that happen. I promised her I would get her walking again. I failed at that, mom would never again set up let alone walk.

  Then I thought a strange thought. A sense of a life well filled and satisfied and joy came about me. A tear in my eye slowly left and a smile replaced it. I have these wonderful memories, and a lot more. I chased a dream, a false dream, of having a lot materially. Now, middle aged, thin hair and thick belly, my health is gone. I have never been rich or wealthy, but I was comfortable. UPS paid us well. I had bought toys upon toys, but sitting there, they mean nothing. To sit there and look out, even though the land has changed some, and have those memories... that is what life is about. We look for miracles and yet we fail to see the miracles that happen every single day. No walking through flames or moving mountains, but living with people you love and who love you. Did me and dad need to build all this stuff, did Gerald? It wasn't the having that is of immense value but the experience and sharing of time and teaching talents. God could have given those moments to anybody, yet He allowed me to have them. When one day we leave this place, that is what we get to take with us, the love, joy, and all the good things that can never be bought or sold, held or touched. I had to become an old man to see this.

  So take some advice not from me but from those of old. Never let the sun go down on you mad. Make peace rather that look for it. Anybody can take, so learn to give. Lead and teach and if necessary, use words. Be what you want to see. Be thankful for the smaller things, for a mountain is made from many small mounds, a beach from many grains of sand. Never see a person go hungry. Don't depend on treasures here, make treasures for after here. Strong hands do not point to the fallen, they reach out to help the fallen get back up.             

Strange Days, Strange World

  We live in a funny world, each of us in our own little space, occasionally colliding with each other.  We have a little bubble in this world that we are aware of. never seeing the bigger picture usually, and for some a bit late. I watched today as a family member got rid of stuff he once clanged onto and held so dear realizing that all this time possessions are just temporary. If there is one thing I learned the hard way it is that. That being said I still like the things I have, I just know they are things, and things are temporary at best. In this case it was an old truck and me being an old car guy I could relate. Lately my wife has tried to get me to sell some of mine stating that I would never finish them all and probably never be able to even finish one. Thing is, she is probably right. Still, they are an aspiration, a goal, an enjoyment, and for her an investment for when I leave this world. They are things though and they brought me joy while I was here and maybe they, or the money they bring, can bring joy to her... I don't expect her to keep them. I guess that is what disturbed me the most, it was in a way him saying he gives up.

  There are those living out there who would say he is wrong to quit, and I would agree, but there are times it is easier to quit then continue. We all can reach a point to where it is hard to live, where it all seems hopeless and we feel helpless. Those who have never had to fight to see the next day, and I'm not talking about broken bones or feel rough, I am talking an actual fight to remain just one more day, except even that perspective doesn't work. On fights for on more second, one more minute, one more hour, for one more day seems to hard to attain. I thought when I had a heart attack I knew that, but that was just a sample for you know deep down something has to give. When one is faced with a long term illness, disease, or disability, and days that seem to never end turn into weeks and weeks into months, that is what I am talking about. Cancer showed me this and if the first cancer didn't, the second one did.

   I do believe we are to fight, with all our might we have, and leave it up to God to say it's time. Having said that I completely understand when someone just gives in. It isn't my place to judge them, that is left up to God and Him alone, my job is to encourage and try and understand. Really that is what this life is all about, or at least it should be. In the end it doesn't matter what we owned, won, attained, or anything physical, it all fades away. Other religions, and Christianity use to too, ask a simple question. Was the world better for having you in it? If you can see it, touch it, buy it, sell it, hold it, it all succumbs to moths eating away at it, or rusts away. All physical things fade away and in time so do people, and that is OK, it is suppose to be that way. How is it that we are suppose to be so smart and yet not know that a good life has nothing to do with quantity and everything to do with quality.

  I read somewhere that the Elite either have or are very close to practically have something that increases the life span, and eventually becoming immortal. Who wants that? Have they wasted so much of their life, so much of what life should and could be, that they fear death? The thing I find amazing is the same lie that was told and believed in the Garden Of Eden about immortality is still sold and bought today. You can fix a lot of things but stupid ain't one of them. I look back at the people I loved, ones who made my life worth living and have now gone on and I think, why would I want to live forever. That is not to say I don't enjoy the ones who are here now and make life worth living, but one gets stuck somewhere in the middle. Then too things change, the world changes, and suddenly I do not understand it nor fit in anymore. This is indeed strange days.

  I can't help but wonder, was my bubble real back when I was young, or was I just raised with limited view. Back then food was real, no GMOs until the corn with the Firefly genes. We use to have food that heals, now we have food that kills. Most school lunches weren't like momma makes, but they were good and seldom did we have a choice. There was a forgive and go from there policy rather than a zero tolerance policy. In other words, we done as we want God to do when we screw up. The rules and laws were few and simple and lawmen could grant leniency if they chose to do so. Laws are like locks, they keep an honest man honest but do little to keep out a thief. There were no emphasis placed on a product mane but if the product actually lasted. Most people never felt superior to another based on their job, and supervisors actually were good at what they did and were promoted for their ability. We commended and protected Whistle Blowers, now they have to hide or seek refuge in foreign countries, yet we say we want an open door policy. When did wearing a uniform? We have people judging others for stuff they don't do while they do stuff the one judged would not consider. People spell out bad words rather than say them, it is the same thing. We desire war over peace. Pride over humility. Greed over kindness. Money has become our god, and possessions have become his demons. We are offended rather than hearing truth. We consume products made from aborted babies yet protest abortion. We drive past those less fortunate as we head home to our McMansion. We elect people that are lazy, self centered, and evil, then complain about them. We watch sports players and actors and actresses who are morally bankrupt, yet tell our kids not to be that way. We listen to songs of depression, no real meaning, and hate music. Music no longer soothes the savage beast, it creates them.  We listen to false preachers preaching things we want to hear, or at least things that do not step on our toes. Most of us never stop to think, the last time mankind was this out of control, the Earth was flooded and all was dead.  My generation said we were going to change things, and we did, just not for the better. May God forgive us.   

  I never really understood my elders as a child, I thought I was more advanced, smarter than, and stronger than. Now in my mid fifties I see what they saw, only worse. It is only now that I realize that I was in the company of great men and women, I have been blessed. I have saw men and women die, and they did so at peace, and I wondered why. Most will never know them or anything they done. They live an unremarkable life remarkably well. These are the real heroes. They drove old cars, lived in small houses, dressed as they pleased yet in a moral, respectful attire. I watched and thought and thought some more, then it hit me. These people lived for God, not the religious nut nor condemning Hippocrates, but God fearing Jesus following people. They lived for their family. They simply was happy to serve rather than being served. These people lived their lives knowing it isn't the person who points the finger but the person who lends a hand up to someone when they fall that makes life worth living. And live they did, never once living for themselves but for others. They knew you take with you and leave behind all at the same time only the things which cannot be seen, touched, bought, or sold. They knew the world was a big place with plenty of room for all, and with just enough for all.

  So in closing, where did we go wrong? At what time did we allow evil in? How have we fallen so far? It is indeed strange days in a strange world, but it doesn't have to be like this. One person cannot change the world but by each one the world can change. We all have the opportunity to make this world better, just as we have the opportunity to destroy it all. Some will call it "paying it forward", while others will call it being fulfilled. Call it what you may, but you will change inside, a good change. It is amazing the inner peace, love, and kindness that comes when you live for yourself last, placing all others at the top of your list. Anthony

Mark Of The Beast

  I read the other day where the main man at the World Central Bank is calling for an end to all money. He offers up a system whereby the world would run more off an electronic debit system. In that system you would be paid like you are now with no check nor any cash, direct deposit no return as I call it. No checks either. Nothing that is tangible would ever  be again but rather all would be electronic. For those who are ignorant this would be the ticket. For those who would profit from this system, think again. The only ones that actually will make real profit from this are those who do now, the banks and the governments. There are two or three countries that are already wanting to implement this system.

  So what is bad about that? In this system one is not rewarded to save, remember. it is a debit system. For those of us who live in the real world it has implications. If you have or go to a yard sale, Flea Market, Farmer's Market, buy off or sell to an individual on a personal basis, or do work for someone... all these will now be electronic transactions. All transactions will be taxed. If one barters then one would have to barter in goods, no goods plus cash, or boot as we call it. I think bartering would eventually be illegal.

  At first we will use Cell Phones or RFID Cards, which some already do the Phone thing and the Driver's License, at least here in Tennessee already have the RFID on the back that can be scanned. I know the Driver's License bar code works because one night we went to Target and on the way checking out I saw a 4 or 5 pack of Butane Lighters at a very good price, so I grabbed it. I was in line with mu wife who was buying something so when my turn came up the lady scanned the price then asked to see my Driver's License. This was the only item I was buying and that confused me since it was cheap and the only item I was getting. I played along though and pulled out my Billfold, flashed them to her and she requested I take it out. So I did, and she scanned the card. This took me by surprise so I asked what she had just done, Tennessee government had assured people the bar code was there but inactive. She was quiet honest, and pleased with herself, and told me she now knew my whole record... ever record on me. Then she told me her main job was Homeland Security. I laughed and told her they must have a boring job scanning Lighters, plus my slate was clean. She informed me it was clean and that if I had something, anything to hide, I would have not wanted to cooperate and it would bother me. I informed her that I had nothing to hide, as she plainly saw, but I was bothered by this who scenario, actually pissed off. It didn't seem to phase her any, so was in her own little world. To this day I do not shop, nor will I again, at Target.

  But back to the main thought. This will be a card, chip, tattoo, or electronic devise when it first starts. Many years ago, and for many years I hung out at a Conspiracy Board, which some have mentioned over the years. There I learned a lot from many people and made friends with some of the smartest researchers to be found. Most of them were Atheists and Agnostics, which I never really understood since they were smart people. They were though also from many backgrounds, colors, and beliefs, and actually that was a good thing. Religion was the big no-no with me, any part of researching critically anything to do with religion. While I was there those years I learned how to critically take everything off the table from being protected from investigation.  What I am going to expose next will also line up with the Bible.

  The physical cards, chips, tattoos, electronic devices, or recognition software will continue to get people hurt and killed as the information gets stolen. To make it safe they will do away with physical things and install a chip, nano chip actually and they already have it. No it is not hidden away in some secret lab waiting to be released, they have had it on news and variety shows. The one they are most pleased with is the Tattoo, which can be made in any image or completely invisible. The RFID Chip that has been on the market and shown all these years, picture it smaller. The Nanobots attach themselves into the body's neurological where it gets it's power from. Once attached, it can not be detached.

  The older version of Left Behind they dig out the chips and all is well. Once again, Tim LaHaye is wrong, which he seems to be good at. According to the Bible once you take the mark you are condemned for eternity and for that to happen something drastic must have occurred or changed, and it has to be irreversible. This ramps it up a bit, even more that we imagined years ago when we first heard of the chip. The advent of the pushing Tattoos I could not figure. This also tells why those that rule are promoting ink. Old Tattoos are probably free of the demonic tool, but new ones are anybody's guess, so you might as well have them ink stupid on you while there. Could this be the reason God warns us not to do them?

  In this system you will be at the mercy of whomever or whatever is running the transmissions. Piss them off and they shut your account down. Piss them off enough times and the have the power to just delete you from the system and effectively making you not able to buy or sell. With those same powers also buying up the world's water, just how long could you go? If you are a good person, as they will watch you, then like in days past you may buy your freedom. Even then, you will not be salvageable for God, when Jesus returns back. The mark and the beast will come before the "Rapture", yet another lie LaHaye and his liars have spun.

  So the next time one of the talking heads on the idiot box tells junk for news, like Abortion, Gay Rights, Presidential race, latest celebrity junk, look to see what is going on they don't want you looking at. It is a weapon of mass distraction and they don't call it TV Programming for nothing.

                   Revelation 13:15-17 (KJV)
15 And he had power to give life unto the image of the beast, that the image of the beast should both speak, and cause that as many as would not worship the image of the beast should be killed.
16 And he causeth all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and bond, to receive a mark in their right hand, or in their foreheads:
17 And that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark, or the name of the beast, or the number of his name. 
                 Revelation 14:9-10:
 9 And the third angel followed them, saying with a loud voice, If any man worship the beast and his image, and receive his mark in his forehead, or in his hand,
10 The same shall drink of the wine of the wrath of God, which is poured out without mixture into the cup of his indignation; and he shall be tormented with fire and brimstone in the presence of the holy angels, and in the presence of the Lamb:

Trials and Tribulations - 2nd glance

  With the addition of bad news that came from my last follow-up, something occurred to me that had once before crossed my mind. Trials and Tribulations. In the last days we look for trials and who out there doesn't associate tribulation with the end of days. I, like many others, do believe we are in end days but not because of our tribulations--- rather because of other signs. Who among us hasn't had our share of trials and tribulations in ever day life? If you are normal and I would say blessed, you have had your share of these things. For many that will sound a bit crazy, that last sentence, but it is true. I would be the first to admit that an easier life would have been nice, but the trials and tribulations of this life have made me who I am. Right or wrong, I am who I am because of an uneasy life. As short as I fall now, I can't imagine how bad I would be if everything was smooth. You don't here that these days from "preachers" much, they know that the better you feel about yourself the more you will give. But what does the Bible say?

James 1: 2 My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. 4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.

  1 Peter 1: 6 In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, 7 that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ, 8 whom having not seen[a] you love. Though now you do not see Him, yet believing, you rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory,

John 16:33 These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will[a] have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”

Acts 14:22 strengthening the souls of the disciples, exhorting them to continue in the faith, and saying, “We must through many tribulations enter the kingdom of God.”

Romans 5:And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;

Romans 12:12 Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer;

   Now I could go on and one, there are many other quotes and stories on this subject, but that in and of itself should be enough, suffice to say, more than enough. Make peace.

Reflections on Thanksgiving.

  So today it came to me, well actually that started last night, at how we slowly change. I watched as Denise went OCD from the stress of getting the Thanksgiving meal prepared. There were things that she did in the last 5 or so years, and things mom did. Just like a frog who will set in the water as the temperature slowly rises until he is cooked, so too does life do us. I caught myself playing a role like dad did, something I use to laugh at him for doing and swear I would never, ever be like that.

  Well, this is our 4th Thanksgiving without dad and our 1st without mom. This is also Denise's 1st without her dad... been a tough year. By today I smiled when I reflected back again, weighing my thoughts of then verses now. I remember mom busting her butt, cooking and going crazy while dad, who knew to keep out of mom's way, played the part of go for and sitting up the tables and chairs. Of course that was not so much by his design but mom's design, dad just followed orders. He did so without hesitation and a lot of times without adding his 2 cents in, just followed the orders and made the trips to the store or outside to assist mom. I remember vividly thinking that dad had got this from being in WW2, but I was wrong. His service days probably helped him, I have no service time but I learned to follow orders.  Now different families have different roles and I personally do not believe that one way is better than the other, it is just what a family gets use to and is comfortable with. Around here, women prepared the meal and men followed the orders the women gave to them.

  Back then and really up until I really don't know, I said that I would not be like my dad and my wife would not be like my mom. Now at this time it is time to reflect back to what I said about that frog in the water thing, so I really don't know when or where that line was crossed. Maybe though this year, now at 54, I fully understand things more than I use to, especially since we are now the ones who are old. We are not really old but back when I noticed things like this I was in my 20s so yea, I would have thought me to be a relic back then. My parents, and other adults that helped raise me, I could always see traits that I admired, so please don't misunderstand me on that. The thing is though that I was in fear that one day I would become like my dad and fall into that order taking, mom fearing, role. I was a man and therefore over my woman I thought.

  I looked at my wife as I was not asked to run here or there, well actually a time or two told I was running here or there, but volunteered cheerfully to run. My wife was busting her butt to not only do her charges but also mom's charges now that mom was no longer with us. Our youngest daughter, only one still left at home, was busting her butt helping. At 22 she was also bucking up like a wild horse that has never been tamed, but she was being led and followed. Our oldest daughter asking what she could do to help out even though she lives miles away and had sick kids. My wife didn't want to place more burden on our oldest, guess she remembers us having small kids.

  So today the big event, Thanksgiving was upon us and Denise was wide open but running low on energy. If I did not know here I would probably not know this to watch her go. Her dad had just died and the funeral the day before, she was behind, broken hearted, and tired. I think staying busy kept her mind active and off the pain she was feeling. The pain was still there but at least she got a reprieve from the intensity of it, she was a daddy's girl. I was a momma's boy and I have buried myself in writing and paperwork on he estate and even TV this time, the TV thing... not good. One still grieves and one still hurts, but by not dwelling, one heals in time. Time does not totally heal all wounds but it does help to heal and have a healthy scar more so than an unhealthy one.

  Tonight, as she lay there asleep on the couch, exhausted, it came across my mind what dad must have felt. Neither of us are as thin as we once were, neither of us are as naive as we use to be, but man was she ever beautiful. I had to be the luckiest man alive. I thought dad was being bossed but he wasn't, he surely understood how blessed he was and rather than following orders was happy to help. He done this not out of duty but out of love and honor and was pleased to be of assistance to mom, whatever she needed him to do. I wondered just how I could have been so wrong for so long, for that matter, how I could not see the transformation in my perspective. Even more, how I could have taken so long to make the change complete. I guess I was a late bloomer, lol.

  So many changes have come about me and most for the better, but I was pretty off track in a lot of things. The thing I have noticed since dad has gone and now that mom has gone is not that I fear being them as I did when I was young. What seems to be boring in our youth eventually becomes stability in our later years. Spontaneous becomes undependable and change becomes undependable. Not completely in all aspects but in many. Trendy people become people of Fads and that becomes material people and eventually can become broke people. I get all that now, but the thing that amazes me the most and caught me off guard is when I looked at her lying there I had one thought. One thing came to mind and tonight I will ask in my prayers that I become that which I once feared I would be, that which I once thought weak. I pray I can be a man that is as my dad was, or at least half the man. That I can, though my actions and words inspire someone to be like me like dad did without ever once thinking he was doing just that. That I can be worthy of the ridicule of youth and the admiration of age. That I never know if I have been so that I can remain humble, and preform the tasks my dad did without fail. In short, that one day I can become a man like my dad.